.9:26 PM
This past week seemed to last a long time. I went home on friday to visit the family for the first time in over 4 months. I'm sort of ashamed that I don't go home very often, but the truth is I've been keeping myself busy and well, when you work, there really isn't much time for yourself save for the weekends. I'm sure my parents would like me to go home more often, but they know that I lack a vehicle and riding the greyhound and riding the rocket aren't exactly the most efficient ways of going home.
The biggest concern, at least for me, ever since I started working is juggling my time for everything and everyone that's important to me. Sometimes it's hard being able to make time for everyone. I suppose that in a perfect world, there would be plenty of time for everyone and everything but unfortunately, there is rarely enough time for everything you need. That's when you have to prioritize your tasks. To me, this is the most painful task because sometimes you end up hurting people and sometimes even hurting yourself. Nobody likes rejection or excuses - especially bad excuses. But everyone wants to feel important. It's so hard to juggle everything in life when you're chasing the mighty dollar during most of your waking hours.
April 16, 2003
.1:44 PM
congratulations. you've alienated your audience.
April 15, 2003
.10:44 PM
I'll be honest here. I've been second guessing myself a lot lately. Maybe it's because things just seem so uncertain and I'm just confused. Days drift into Weeks and Weeks drift into Months. You know the routine. Time flies by so fast and it seems so fucking hard to make the little things count sometimes. But deep down you know you're trying (or at least you think you are) and you're trying to give it a chance. You trudge along and wait for the moment to materialize. But it never does. It reveals itself to you slowly like a puzzle with missing pieces. The problem is you don't know if the pieces are really missing or if they're hidden from you on purpose. The truth is like a cold shower that shocks and awakens you and sends you straight to a towel. Nothing hits you as hard as the truth - but sometimes reality just feels a lot better than blanket statements that cover lies and deceptions. So what's the fucking point?