journal [archive]

May 30, 2003
.7:28 AM
Everything is good. I'm leaving for Europe tonight and returning on June 14th. I am or may not be blogging between now and then. I don't know. I will, however be writing journal entries on paper (old skool).

Toronto --> Amsterdam 18:35 (May 30)
Amsterdam --> Toronto 13:15 (June 14)

t


May 28, 2003
.1:16 AM
There's a recurring theme that appears in my blog. There's a lot of pessimism and self-doubt. I was just reading some of my past posts and it occured to me that I was really bearing my soul on a lot of these posts. Unfortunately a lot of these feelings of pessimism and uncertainty that were previously discussed are still present today. Perhaps that's what needs to change. Perhaps I need to adopt a more "don't-give-a-shit" attitude towards life. If shit happens, so be it. It's not my fault right?

Or more realistically, I think I need to realize that there are lots of other people going through what i'm going through. Things could be a lot worse. I really shouldn't be complaining. I really should adopt a more positive attitude towards life. Not just a superficial positive attitude either. I'm talking about something genuine from the heart. This shouldn't be too hard as long as I'm conscious of it.


May 21, 2003
.11:36 PM
What can you say when your friend claims that ladies are approaching him left right and centre. That grandmother's are approaching him trying to hook him up with their granddaughters. And the hordes of sales people trying so desperately to flirt with him all the time?

Of course I have yet to witness this in person, so I really should take what is given to me with a grain of salt.

And I wonder - if all this is indeed true, where does that leave me? All my interactions at the mall center around automatic responses to automatic questions. Paper/Plastic? Would you like your receipt in your bag? Simply brainless questions to a somewhat brainless task - shopping. Very rarely do I ever really encounter a "human" moment. Even when I do try to strike up a conversation, what I end up with is generic automatic responses followed by a long automatic awkward silence. Eyes looking away. Desperately waiting for the transaction to finish. There was no rejection. There was no feeling. It's automatic. It's robotic just like those computers that print the receipts and calculate GST.

So as you can see I've sort of stream of consciously went off on a tangent only to never return - until now. My point is I'm still waiting for more human moments to happen. To be honest, I really don't want to experience them in a mall. it's superficial enough as it is.




May 16, 2003
.11:31 AM
may nothing but happiness come....

So I've figured out how to transfer polyphonic ringtones, mophun games, and misc other binaries to my phone via my pda. There's a wonderful little piece of software from sourceforge called ZBox that transfers binaries to the palm via a windows conduit. Fabulous. Effective today, I no longer need to buy an infrared adapter for my PC to transfer stuff to my phone. While it's one more step to transfer to my clie first before the phone, I really don't see this as a drawback seeing that I sync my PDA on a daily basis anyway.

So what else is exciting this weekend? Well, I'll be watching the matrix reloaded tonight. Yes - I am totally stoked. And on saturday I'll be buying my pack and miscellaneous items for my trip in 2 weeks. Oh and I might actually splurge and buy the sennheiser hd-280's closed headphones (to replace my broken hd-490's) too.




May 14, 2003
.12:58 AM
two weekends ago, purchased the new sonyericsson t310 phone. Much to my amazement, I discovered on monday that the infrared port can send stuff to and from my sony clie. Now I can send gifs and jpgs from the PC to the clie (via usb cradle) and clie --> SE phone via infrared. The phone also supports sending and receiving palm contacts. Overall, it's all pretty cool. Yes I am a geek and yes I really do get excited when different devices can remain "connected" even if being connected means using old technology such as infrared.

My phone is no longer an island.

the only problem plaguing me at the moment is sending polyphonic ring tones. this task has become about as frustrating and painful as my luck with women. uggh.

if you build it, it will come. all you need is patience. or the easy way out.... buy an infrared adapter for my pc.

or hey, maybe i'll actually look into the palm sdk and see if i can write something that handles polyphonic ringtones. err i need time first though.

shit it's getting late. i really should sleep.. cheers..




May 7, 2003
.11:16 PM
I've noticed a lack of introspective posts on my blog lately. I remember way back in the day I used to write about how I'm feeling all the time. These days I've been sort of keeping these personal thoughts to myself. I suppose it's not good to keep things bottled up, but I really don't wish to share everything with everyone that reads this.

So now that we're almost halfway through 2003, I reflected earlier today about things I wanted to accomplish this year. I'm not one to make new year's resolutions because I tend not to keep them. Instead I make more vague goals and objectives. First off one of the things I want more than anything else is for 2003 to be even better than last year or the year before or the year before etc etc. I'm not sure how I would measure something like this though. Each year with every highlight there is a good deal of forgetable things. Take for instance 2001 - the year that i worked in cal, but it was also the year of september 11. Or what about 2002 - the thrill of being done with university was paradoxically coupled with the realization that everyone had gone their separate ways. With every happiness there comes sadness, with everyone risk there comes a reward.

So let's look at 2003. So far the year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. The highs have been extremely high while the lows have been extremely low. So where does that leave me? Yup, right in the middle. I think I need to set more specific goals and constantly re-examine the progress i'm making towards these goals. I think I need to focus more on the progress side of things. As a society we're too fixated with results. I think that as long as we're progressing towards our desired goals, we should be happy. But of course this is a lot easier said than done.



May 2, 2003
.12:03 AM
So what's new in my world? Well..... I'm going to Europe. That's right folks - I'm heading to Europe for the first two weeks of June to go backpacking. Ultimately the aim is to have lots of fun and to gain a fresh new perspective on life. I need change. I'm hoping that travelling somewhere new and experiencing the cultures and customs will perhaps give me a deeper understanding of the things around me. Tentatively, me and my friend are heading to Amsterdam, Frankfurt, Milan, and Paris. I would love to spend more time checking out the rest of Europe but unfortunately 2 weeks isn't a lot of time. I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunity to visit other parts that I'll miss this time around.


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