journal [archive]

December 22, 2002
.12:18 PM

Garbage candy.



.1:11 AM
I finally managed to finish up all my xmas shopping today. Sort of. i didn't really know what to get my lilest sister so I think I'm going to go with my mom's approach and just give her money. Q suggested that it's bad to give her money at such a young age because 'the won't appreciate the value of money... etc etc'. Bah. She has more stuff than I did when I was 12 anyway. I mean, when I was 12, I was still wearing Simpsons sweatshirts that featured the bartman. I was buying vanilla ice and mc hammer tapes. Those were my only buys. I mean, I had no interest in clothing. I didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought about me. I guess things haven't changed much today. I'm still wearing the simpsons sweatpants, except... the only problem is that I'm more self-conscious now. I thought it would have been a teenage trait but it's still present in me. Overcoming my fears, anxiety, and self-esteem issues are a lot easier said than done.

I wish I was 12 again and deciphering vanilla ice rhymes.



December 19, 2002
.11:35 PM
So we (my team) got the afternoon off today to watch the new lord of the rings 2. Now that I've watched the second one, I should stop being a loser and watch the first one. I swear, I must be the only one that hasn't seen the first one yet. That's on my list of things to do next week when I visit the family. I'll try and exploit the new HDTV that my folks bought with some movies and xbox (if i can manage to take it with me on the greyhound).

Edit:
OMG I just noticed how crappy my last post was. The grammar is all off in a major way. i'm much to lazy to bother fixing it so i'm gonna leave it as is.

Worst
Post
Ever.


December 18, 2002
.12:03 AM
3 more days and then my xmas holiday begins. I still haven't finished my xmas shopping yet... even after visiting the Eaton Centre about a million times in the last two weeks. I promised myself earlier that I wouldn't give in to this ridiculous retailer-exploited season of buy buy buy. I suppose that it would be ok if I actually bought gifts for
people. Instead I've been buying stuff for myself.

Even still, I feel somewhat uneasy walking around in malls. Maybe it's the i-don't-want-to-even-talk-you-because-you-dress-like-a-nerd attitude that I get from the so-hip-it-hurts sales representatives at different stores. Or maybe it's the carefully researched and designed environment that tries to trap you in and encourage you to buy more. With the right positioning of lights, muzik, and snobbery, you may very well give into your impulses.

So here's the dilemma: I still haven't decided really what to get my parents for xmas. I'm so bad at this. All these years as a ghetto student, I had an excuse. Now that I have a full-time permanent job, it's time that I stop being a cheap-ass.

Giving into crass commercialism.. is this selling out??


December 7, 2002
.9:53 AM
I woke up at 9am this morning to the sound of loud thumps coming from the roof. Someone was repairing the roof at %#*& 9am in the morning. Realizing that I wasn't going to get much sleep under this, I decided to get up. So much for sleeping in.

I looked out the window into the grey, bleak skies. The sun was nowhere to be found. The few leaves that were still left on the tree outside my window hung lifelessly waiting inevitably for the next round of frost to come. I closed my eyes for a minute. The streets were quiet - everyone was either still sleeping or already at the malls. The fan on my computer hummed loudly. The loud thumps had temporarily stopped. My mind ached from being abruptly waken up. My body ached from my workout friday night.

Time to go back to sleep.


December 4, 2002
.12:06 AM
Looking at my web access logs, I've noticed a trend in the visitors of this site. They tend to visit my site in huge numbers on the day of and the day after I make a post in my blog. Otherwise, I'll get about 5 visits a day. What the?? I'm guessing that this is pure coincidence. Or maybe it's some foolio that's having a little too much fun with the reload button.


.12:03 AM
My mind was totally aloof today. I picked up a pair of shoes at Zara, but didn't realize that the anti-theft device was still on the shoes until I went home and took them out of the bag and saw the white tag. This would explain why everytime I went into a shop with F, the metal alarms would go off.

Now I hafta go back the Eaton Centre and get it removed. Hopefully I don't set off too many alarms tomorrow. Blah.


December 1, 2002
.8:49 PM
I just got back from the Reel Asian Film Festival. Today's attendees of the 2 groups of screenings were quite small so my volunteering duties of ushering and collecting tickets was essentially over in about 5 minutes. This allowed me the opportunity to take in about 4 hours of short movies. At first I was worried that I would get bored, but I found that many of the movies really hit home and were quite good.

Highlights for me included Georgia Lee's "Educated" which takes a harsh but realistic look at the competitive pressures that asian parents put on their children, and Carolyn Wong's "Yin Yin/Jade Love", a documentary she created about her late grandmother. What makes the latter signficant is that she only learned about her grandmother's history after she passed away. Sold away to a wealthy family in China at a young age, she managed to make it to Canada, lived in poverty, married a drug addict, participated in an affair, and suffered through cancer. With such a vivid history, it makes me wonder about my family. I know very little about my roots. It's something that hasn't been really discussed much. Maybe it's something to talk about at xmas time.

Perhaps the most memorable part of the film, for me, was when she said that she suffered through everything she had to just so that the generations that come after her will live better lives. When I heard this, I immediately thought of my parents and how grateful I am for everything they've ever done for me. I never really understood all the sacrifices they did for me growing up, but I can truly appreciate them now.

In any case, this festival was great. I'll definitely check it out again next year. Highly recommended.


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