| Flatulent Vengeance for All!!! | by chevy |
| Hello, everybody!!! This is Sara and Chevy, writing to let you all know that we are still alive, very much in love, and having the time of our lives desecrating the moral fibers of Colorado. Chevy is still a slave to the soul-devouring monstrosity that is the corporate office, but it pays enough to support our lifestyle of mayhem and douche, so we have to put up with "da man" for a while. The real threat to our sanity, however, comes from a place much closer to home...THE NEIGHBORS!!! Apparently the only music styles available at local stores are horribly demented rap/R&B songs from the early nineties (think: Salt n Pepa meets Michael Jackson), and mariachi versions of the theme from Super Mario Brothers. All of which must, of course, be played with the highest amount of bass available. The agony--we have all been permanently scarred!!! Vengeance will be ours, however....soon we will have our 5-speaker system back from storage in Florida, complete with 300 watts of ear-bleeding power...ah, the sweet taste of precious bodily fluids... ...and while I'm on the subject of massive loss of blood and auditory capabilities... Tomorrow is Ozzfest!!!! Having taken my love's mosh pit virginity at various State Theater concerts, it is now time to move on to the next step...Millions of oversized freaks crammed into one stadium, with one purpose only--to kick the living shit out of each other and love it!! Bands include Black Sabbath, Linkin Park, Mudvayne, Slipknot, Taproot--about 30 groups in all, with only one (Crazy Town) worthy of our eternal wrath, which they shall feel indefinitely (I'm not telling, but it involves maxi pads, a slingshot, and 1/2 a pound of raw ground beef). Vaginal Assault lives!!! Wish us luck that we don't get killed in the stage rush, or martyred by the fanatical Christians standing outside preaching the evils of Marilyn Manson!!!(Just wait till they see Slipknot..hee hee hee...) Other than basking in the pleasure of pit pain and mild acts of terrorism involving feminine hygiene, things are pretty peaceful here. For so long we dreamed of finding our home in the mountains, and traveling blindly into this place with barely enough money for food is probably the wisest thing we have ever done. There is a kind of freedom you feel standing on a cliff 200 feet above rocky wilderness that you never experience anywhere else. Standing there, with my one true love beside me, I feel complete in a way I never have before. For any of you who are thinking about visiting, please do...this place is too magical for us to keep it to ourselves! Basically guaranteed custody of Kevin and Rachel, we are now involved in buying a house and piece of land for ourselves, where we will be able to really begin our life together. We'll also have plenty of room for guests (this means YOU, Laird and Laurie!!!) Well, I guess I'll put you all out of your misery and stop rambling now. Thanks to all of you who have helped us with your friendship and kind thoughts, and we hope to see you all again soon. We will be coming down there in about a month to visit + pick up the rest of our stuff, and are thinking about getting together a group to go to Islands of Adventure or KOA. Let us know if you want to go! Blessed be, and keep in touch!!! ~`Sara Murray | |