| Masturbation. Full of vitamins A, D, & C | by caridwen |
| All skinny white guys look alike. I assume it's because of the three defining characteristics of the species. One can't be fat, black and female and be called a skinny white guy. These three factors narrow the field quite nicely for the average american female, but thankfully I have more brain cells then can be stored in a dixie papercup, and there for I didn't make the cut for "average".
It poses problems though, because I become more picky about what I will and will not consider. The male in question must be straight, single, lacking in body hair (shaving is acceptable), incredibly intelligent, funny, charming, sensitive, open minded, loving to all animals, capable of putting makeup on faster then me, and not afraid to shave his legs if I happen to win at poker. Oh, and don't forget the super charged sex drive and stamina of a world class soccer player. Does this male exist? Prolly not. Well.. I take it back.. he prolly does, somewhere halfway around in the world. I'll bet money he's gay, too. The really cool ones are always gay. If this continues, I'ma start combing the ranks of my own troops for some action. Fuck this no sex shit, if I rub one off one more fucking time, I'ma fucking implode. They'll have to pour me into my casket. My parents will be tramatized, and the F.B.I will study my death and wonder if it was somehow a terrorist act. Give us Two billion dollars or we'll implode the girl with a suprise triple orgasm!! ...yeah... | |