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assholes and hospital food 2000-12-10 21:06:18
by obrien
Hmmm.... I was thinking today, as I often do on Sunday evenings, about why alcohol gives you the shits.... If it dehydrates you so much, you'd think that the body would squeeze every last drop of moisture out of that poop, leaving a (vaccuum-sealed for freshness) brick of shit lodged in your colon, constantly building up pressure, until it shoots like a torpedo out your ass. But who knows.

Onto a less disgusting subject. I was visiting my friend Aaron in the hospital today. Just a few days ago he got hit by a car crossing 4th street. Seems that there was a van blocking Aaron's line of sight, so he didn't see the other car. You might just chalk this up to typical stupidity on Aaron's part, but the thing is, the guy admitted that he didn't have his eyes on the road and didn't see him. Also, he was doing 65 in a 45. If that guy would have been paying attention, he wouldn't have hit Aaron at all. The left side of the guy's bumper caught Aaron's back leg at the last second. The guy didn't even hit the brakes until after he hit him.

But the really fucked up thing is that now there's a problem with who's going to pay for Aaron's medical bills. If the guy had been doing the speed limit, and paying attention, sure, he'd have the right to say, "That kid's just an idiot, and I'm not paying for him." It's not like Aaron wants to get thousands of dollars and go on a shopping spree, he just wants the medical bills taken care of.... He's got a rod in his leg and he spent last night in ICU because they thought he might have blood clots somewhere.. It's not like the guy bumped into him in a parking lot and he spent an hour in the hospital for a little road rash..... We're talking thousands of dollars that the guy's insurance would easily pay for.

So Aaron decided that if the guy doesn't pay up, he's gonna do one of two things: Either go to the guy's house and run him over and refuse to pay for it, or just sic Deke on him. Either way, that guy's gonna end up in the hospital.