Forums Archive -> Message Board

geriatry 2000-12-08 14:58:33
by marasmus
Another clear-cut argument for the mandatory testing of elderly for driving fitness on a shorter scale than 6 years.

I have to drive 1/2 mile to get from my work to Wendy's, where I always eat because I like ghetto fast food that doesn't taste like the feces found at McDonalds and the like. I, thus, drive 1/2 mile back to work.

I drive on a four-lane road (two in each direction for you practicing division at home) in the left lane, as i have to turn left rather quickly after leaving Wendy's.

I'm driving my normal 55mph on the road with a speed limit of 55, since i have to turn in 30 seconds and don't see a decent reason to do 90. An old bastard pulls out 5 carlengths in front of me (which feels like about 3 inches) while i'm doing 55... I'm hoping he's going to accelerate - after all he has an oldsmobile with a huge, gas-guzzling, seal-clubbing American engine. Naturally, he doesn't accelerate. i hit my 1988 super-lock brakes and go halfway between traction and screeching for about 2 seconds. I finally slow down to his 20mph about 5 feet from his bumper, right in time to get in my left-turn lane. Of course, I get in my turn lane, slide up beside old-bag-from-hell, and simply state "You rotting fool." He looks at me... he can barely fucking see. He's got the blanked-out, glassed-over look you see when a blind person is "looking" near you. He's at least 80. He clearly can't drive, as I nearly rear-ended his poor-decision-making ass.

Then I see that my wendy's has transplanted itself from my passenger seat to a sprawled position on the floor. Frankly, I was hoping i wouldn't be able to stop and i'd rear-end him, because i'd have a reason to get my new car today, rather than waiting another few weeks. I'd probably get more from insurance for my car than I'd get trading it in, too. Front-end collisions on Honda Civics at 55 will also total the car without a whole helluva lot of trouble. But shit, I managed to stop, so I don't get to sue his old ass like I've got the American Syndrome. I did have to clean up greazy fries off my passenger floor. My chicken sammich was unscathed.

For those of you who 'empathize' with geriatric drivers (who can't drive) and think they should 'get a break' and we should drive 'more safely' around them, You can take this fact to heart:
It's going to be an old person who stupidly pulls out all slow in front of your kid, who's driving drunk without a license at 15. Your kid's going to swerve to avoid the car and either end up 6 feet through a ditch or plowed by the 18-wheeler to his right. When your idiot child is dead from irresponsible driving (which would be entirely his fault, other than you being a bad parent), you will then decide it's time to blame the geriatric for pulling out in front of him. This is your nature - you are an American and you believe that responsibility is best left on someone else. Therefore, maybe it'd be better if you were in a fatal accident with an unsafe old driver. We'd take care of two birds with one stone, plus keep you from reproducing and further belittling the quality of our population.

*end fascist holocaustal rant*