|for once i speak not from my ass|
|I took a close look at myself, and my actions of late. I don't want sympathy from you. I want to simply state that I was wrong.
My good friend opened my eyes, and I was enlightened. It seems that I have been harsh, and quick to words. I can't pull them back, they have been said, however, some of them I do regret saying.
I spent some time thinking about the problem, looking at it from different angles, and seeing it from many points of view. We all have assholes, we all have opinions. Everyone has the right to speak, that is why we do. So in this, i see myself as being a rights restricting right-winged bastard. And to add to it, a mud slinging SOB. Thus, I will stop. I spent more than enough time trying to make a point that really had no right to be made. I am sorry.
But back to my thinking. I have met kmart, and respect him. I kept thinking, why he would kill me, could my words be enough to anger him as far as to kill a man? Maybe I pushed too much, too hard, too far. I guess I did push a bit too much, and feel like a dick. But at this moment, I recalled meeting a young lady, who was at my house. I recalled enjoying her being at my house. I could not recall a name, but i most certainly feel this is obrien. I stopped to think further, could they be the same? I realized i stopped looking at the person, and at the actions, and put them together, thus creating a bad person, when in reality, it is the actions I was not happy with. "hate the sin, not the sinner"... I'm not perfect, i should not have chucked any stones. I managed to destroy an image of fun, and replace it with hate, knowing full well, if i ever meet obrien again, i can expect some pain upon my own body. This also applies to kmart. Something again, i regret.
In short, if you decided not to read my post, i am sorry, i put some thought into it. I have seen the next level and hopefully climbed the step. I can't ask for anything from any one, as I do not deserve. To end it all, I'm sorry.