OK, I've had such a great weekend that I thought I'd tell you and rub it in your faces. (I'm glad Kmart hasn't posted yet, he would have ruined my surprise)

• Marasmus stopped by my house unexpectedly on Friday, which was cool since I never see him anymore, that capitalist bastard
• Went to Chevy's on Saturday, the main source of my happiness this weekend. Had a full pack of Camel Wides, yeeeeaah
• Went to the beach to see the sunset, missed the sunset but went skinny dipping with Rachel, Chevy, and Toni
• Rubbed tits with Rachel and Toni so we could laugh at Chevy and his erection
• All right here's the important one: While we were swimming Chevy decided we needed to have a power circle so that "his wang would not get eaten by sharks" so we were all holding hands and I decided I was going to kiss Rachel.. Unfortunately a wave hit and I missed her lips and ended up kissing her cheek, damnit
• Went back to Chevy's and gathered money for a beer run- we got all sorts of shit.. A bottle of Wild Vines, Mike's Hard Lemonade (ugh), Sublime, Woodchuck Cider and Hornsby's Cider for me. Of course John drank it even though I actually paid for it so I didn't get drunk, that motherfucker
• Told Rachel how I felt, blah blah blah. I mean, it was obvious that I liked her and she'd said she liked me and all that shit but I just wanted to make it clear...
• Me, Kevin, Sarah, John, Toni and Chevy went to Kevin, Rachel, + Sarah's dad's apartment... John and Kevin go to the door, Sarah and Chevy sit at the end of the hall to make sure there isn't a beatdown (unless it involves the bloody death of her father) and Toni and I go out to the parking lot to find his car...
• This is the best part: Toni was drunk and I had been drinking, so we needed to piss really bad. We found his hatchback Civic and, uh, relieved ourselves on it. We both stripped from the waist down, Toni got on the hood and kinda straddled it so she was spread-eagle on the windshield, and I put one leg on the roof of the car and just pissed out all that cider. She completely covered the windshield/hood with piss while I had a stream aimed perfectly at the doorhandle. It hit right below the handle so it splashed up under it, so I know that he has my piss on his hands. You guys might not think that girls can aim, but damn I rock so hard it hurts. Just a small prank compared to the shit he's done to his kids, but damn it felt so good.
• Chevy and Sarah hooked up, awww
• Chevy got pierced! He's the proud owner of 3 new holes, two in his ears and one in his eyebrow. Toni pierced him and I helped, and he bled a lot and cried like a girl. Well, no crying, but he almost ripped my hand off when she put the needle through his eyebrow.
• They invited me to go to homecoming with them, feels weird cause I'm in jc, and this will be the second time I've gone to Seminole's homecoming w/o being enrolled there or having a date that went there.... Now I have to find some clothes that fit my fat ass.
• Got a picture of Chevy's naked ass in the shower....
• And there was roast beef, mashed potatoes, and key lime pie left over for me when I got home

I think those are all the highlights of my weekend...