|college woes and big-assed hoes|
College is cool.
But I'm fucking confused about my love life, or lack thereof. I was chillin with Kmart tonight, (you should have come over, Marasmus, but didn't cause you were suckin a big black cock) and bitching about being fat and having ugly mom-tits. I started walking- cause I don't run- but I still feel like a fat, nasty bull dyke. Anyhow, Rachel, the chick that I'm in love with, heard me talking shit about myself and said the usual "you're not fat, you're beautiful" crap... Of course I didn't believe a word of it, because I know I've told my kinda fat, kinda ugly friends that they looked great cause I'm a nice person. So then she busts out with something like "I'd go out with you"... Duhhh... Completely dumbfounded.. I just stand there like an idiot. So Chevy says he's gonna go inside and that we should make out and take pictures for him. Of course, being the shy, pathetic loser that I am, I say that I'm late and gotta go (which was true). I give her a hug, like always, and feel like a dork the whole ride home.
But what complicates matters is that my good friend Morgan (a guy) likes her too. I introduced them and all... But she had sex with Morgan. He was drunk, me and Rachel were naked (swimming), and we were talking about having some sort of orgy. I mean, *seriously* considering an orgy. But I couldn't have sex with Morgan cause that would be weird, and Dan didn't want to do anything with me because I look exactly like his sister, so Morgan and Rachel were the only ones that got any. I said something about how I never got any as they were heading off to his car and Rachel looked at me and said, "you're next." Whoa. But I didn't get any cause I don't want to just fuck her, I want a relationship. Besides, she's had to go through a lot of shit in her life and I think she's one of those people that have sex to feel good about themselves.
I'm retarded. I wish I had the balls to just walk up and kiss her.