| Badgers and Man-breasts | by obrien |
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Badgers: I hear that in places like Wisconsin or Michigan if you really want to hurt someone you go out in the woods and catch a wild badger and put it in their mailbox... I think it's badgers... Man-breasts: I don't have these because I have real tits. Just in case there was any confusion as to my gender. I know it's bad enough that I'm not a man, but I'm also not a techie. Really stupid when it comes to computers, actually.. And when you all stop laughing you can eat shit and die. I think I realized last night that I'm an alcoholic.. Or at least on the road to being one. I just can't stop drinking for the life of me. Considering my family history it's not all that surprising. Like the time we rented a beachhouse (with about 40 of my relatives) and for a week straight stayed up til dawn, slept for maybe 3 hours a night and started drinking with breakfast. Well, drinking FOR breakfast... And most recently after my cousin's wedding, when we'd drunk the open bar (read: free) dry my uncle brought out the biggest bottle of Jack Daniels I've ever seen. And then my cousin Jimmy passed out in the lobby of the REALLY nice hotel we were staying in.. He'd been sitting in a nice over-stuffed chair, but apparently in his drunken stupor he fell flat on his face on the floor. My sister and brother-in-law had to drag him upstairs to his room so that my entire family wouldn't get kicked out of the hotel. Chemical dependency.. ain't it great? | |