| Driving Mrs. Daisy into a tree | by scrantoine |
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I have a few thoughts on driving etiqutte for all of you. 1.DO NOT TAILGATE. This applies to everyone, and especially don't tailgate me. 2.DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PASS ON A TWO LANE ROAD! I swear to any merciful deity that exists, if you try to pass me you will regret it. 3.DO NOT TALK ON A PHONE OR LOOK FOR ANYTHING WHILE DRIVING! I am tired of having close calls with morons talking to their under-fucked, sloppy, bitch-ass wives on their annoying cell phones. The reason why I am telling you this is because the other day some loopy bitch driving a yuppy-saturated SUV jabbering to someone on her phone pissed my right passed the highest level of pissivity. I was traveling down 131th st. going home from work and this woman came up behind me. I didn't pay her much attention until I noticed she was tailgating me. Fuck up number one. I was going 8 mph over the limit on that road as to avoid a ticket, the po-lice sure do love them's purty red cars. Then I look hard into my mirror and see that she is talking to someone on the phone AND looking for some document, judging by the shuffle of papers in her hand. Fuck up number two. She has been behind me for about 3 min and now she decides to pass me. Fuck up number three. My car is not the fastest on the road, but it has it when I need it. I needed it now because as she was moving to pass me, a car just turned into the on-coming lane, a recipe for disaster. So I stomped on the gas and flew forward much faster than her pitiful attempt at a pass and avoided the possible wreck that would've ensued if she hadn't have jerked the wheel back into our lane in time. The other car zips past us and she is furious. I on the other hand am quite amused. Not only did I burn her ass when she tried to pass me, but I showed her the error she had made when tring to pass me and that angered her to no end. I got to the street that would lead me home and slowed to make the left turn into it, making sure I came to a complete stop to check for the on-coming traffic about half a mile up the road. Then as I made my turn I looked behind me and I saw her giving me the finger, so I smiled real big and waved whole-heartedly at her. She almost went off the road in what could only be described as a lust to kill. What a stupid cunt. | |