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THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-09 13:49:46
by bittchee
This Booty Call agreement (heirenafter referred to as the "Agreement") is enetered into as of the ___________ day of _____________ , _________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT IT IN THE MORNING. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9pm (we do not have anything to talk about). 4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff--strictly mind-blowing sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions... (Ex. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? - Hell no- so do not ask stupid questions.) 6. No plans made in advance ... that is why you are called the "backup" unless you are from out of town-then it's only a one time advanced arrangement. 7. All gifts accepted (money and diamonds are always good). 8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged). 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (it is really none of your damn business). 10. No kissing, it's too intimate (except to other body parts). 11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not friends, just sex buddies). 12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK (do not be offended). 13. No extra clothing (I do not want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave) 14. No falling asleep right after sex (get your ass up and go home). 15. Don't be offended if I do not ask you if you enjoyed it (I do not care). 16. You cannot borrow my car for any reason. 17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My roommates girlfriend/boyfriend". 18. Doggie style preffered (just hit it hard and right or get the hell out). 19. The reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better (do not want to look at you - just want to have sex with you). 20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME (so do not keep calling damn it.) 21. The most important one - (NO CONDOMS-NO SEX). 22. Bring your own damn drink (I am not your liquor store). 23. No phone usage please (do not want anyone calling back looking for your ass). * EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. You will be BLOCKED from all communicaions until your silly ass understands the rules.

Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-09 13:53:36
by bittchee
hahaha...Why I didn't have this agreement years ago is beyond me!
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-09 14:07:20
by toby
Do you have an online application? Is it alright if you just call me the ten o'clock appointment?
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 01:59:48
by caridwen
that is getting printed up, copied and handed out to every man in my phone book.
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 08:55:41
by stale
Bittchee: We should've both signed one of those before we started dating, huh?
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 09:23:08
by bittchee
That's what i'm thinking! hehe
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 10:58:59
by claudi
I've distributed that to a few of my friends, and I've actually gotten a few back. Heh.
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 12:34:59
by pondera
This just proves that all girls are slutty..they just need a signed piece of paper to follow through with their ways! HA!
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 15:50:41
by smokey
Come on now, you can totally tell a man wrote this and then some chic doctored it up for a feminine version. We all know women aren't this clever. :)
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 16:06:12
by bittchee
Pondera: You're just calling girls slutty cuz you're bitter and have no one to give this too. HA! Smokey: So you're saying that men actually think before they act? Doubtful, Yeah I could totally see a man typing out some agreement before trying to hit it. That's a funny thought!
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 16:18:58
by Anonymous
a retarded monkey might have written it for other retarded monkeys to read and enjoy.
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 16:34:58
by PimpDaddy WELFARE
All women are hoes, all women are tricks
all women are good for is sucking our dicks
women can cook, and women can clean
but women ain't shit, if you know what I mean
if I were a woman, I'd kill myself
so suck my dick, and here's to your health
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-10 19:18:06
by smokey
Now there you go. I was just being honest and then some 12 year old kid has to come along and write a silly poem. That's just a shame. The truth is (if you know me you're aware of this), all women are disciples of Satan. Except for when they're giving head.
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 10:08:58
by P.D.W.
Shut up you bitch, before I bust yo lip, and blacken yo fuckin' eeeeeeeeeeeye
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 11:30:46
by P.D.W.
If your bitch starts talkin all of that yang, dont be afraid to give her some DANG!
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 15:49:18
by smokey
Who is this guy? Pretty cool that there really is a mail server on the other end of though.
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 16:04:43
by Pimp Daddy Welfare
If a bitch talks shit, i'll whip the lip,
I'll grab the tit, and make her strip,
Pimp Daddy Welfare aint afriad to hit,
a stupid bitch that's talkin shit.
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 16:26:54
by smokey
now that i know i'm an idiot, i'll shut my hole. thanks stale
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 21:09:22
by Kmartcowboy
Hey, does that condom thing count for during the ejaculatory process... cause if I wear one, I be damned if it ain't comein off to shower dat ass wit my love!!
Re: THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT 2002-09-11 21:24:54
by forge
would that be aside from the shower of your masculinity?
sweaty ass, brillow chested hill-billy ass fuck
nothin but love f0 ya baby!